Discussing Your Options Together

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Experiencing an unplanned pregnancy can be a scary situation in which to find yourself. It can be confusing and overwhelming. As scary as it can be, it is important to discuss your options with your partner. And remember; you do have options. The best decision you and your partner—or the other parent of your child—can make is an informed decision. You should not feel pressured to make a decision right away if you’re not ready to do so. Take your time while you study your options. In the end, you’ll need to do what you believe is best for both you and your baby.

If the father of the child doesn’t know you’re pregnant, the first thing you need to do is to tell him the situation. Have a private moment to talk about your current situation, and what you are considering. Make sure to listen to his input as well. It is important that you work together to come to a decision with which both parties are comfortable and confident. Remember that if this is a surprise to the father of your child, you’ll need to remain calm and focused while telling him. This will help both of you to think clearly and start sorting through your many options. Be patient with each other and give one another the respect you both deserve.

Take your time to research all of your options, together. Not only will you have a built-in support system, but you’ll have a sounding board to help you to fully understand your options and your final decision. And if you’re unaware of your many options, here are your main choices to consider:

Parenting the Child: This is always an option—even when people tell you it isn’t. You’ll find some people who will try to convince you that because you’re a single parent, or you don’t make enough money, or you aren’t in the right place in life to raise a child, you are not fit to parent your child. Remember, you’ll need to make this decision with your partner or the other parent of the child for what you feel is best. If you decide that you’d like to parent the child, remember that you have aid and support available to you.

Adoption: Placing your child with an adoptive family is also an option for you. Research potential adoption agencies and potential adoptive families to make sure you find the right fit for you, your child, and your specific situation. And you may meet adoption professionals who try to pressure you into placing your child. Remember that this is yours and your partner’s decision.

Abortion: Terminating your pregnancy is another choice for you to consider. Both you and your partner should feel comfortable with this decision before you move forward. Remember that while you may receive a lot of negative attention for this choice, it is ultimately yours and your partner’s choice.

Discussing your options together is not only important to yours and your partner’s relationship, but it gives you confidence in your choice. And that’s one of the most important things; you need to feel that it is the right choice for you. It will save you from pain and regret in the future. And you can move forward with your life with hope and healing.