Making a Safe and Legal Choice
If you have kept your pregnancy secret from your family, friends, peers and everyone else in the outside world you are not alone. Many women keep their unplanned pregnancy a secret out of fear, shame, denial and confusion. It is important that you know that you have safe and legal options for dealing with your pregnancy that can be kept completely confidential. Whether you are 30 or 13, no one needs to know about your pregnancy or your baby.
In the United States, many states have what is called a Safe Haven law. A Safe Haven, or Baby Moses law, is designed to prevent women from resorting to infantcide or abandoning their babies in unsafe locations like dumpsters, trash cans or restrooms. Under the Safe Haven law you can legally abandon a baby in certain locations such as a police station, fire station, hospital or rescue squad. Many have some type of law that allows you to legally and anonymously surrender a newborn. You need to research your state's laws regarding this matter and find out if you can or cannot legally and safely abandon your baby at a Safe Haven location. If not, you can confidentially contact an adoption agency to get the ball rolling for a legal, safe adoption in that manner.
If you choose to legally abandon, a baby you still have some options. You can surrender a newborn anonymously because you are are not required to give ID, or you can give your name and information. Your name and information are kept confidential. If you choose to abandon a baby legally some states allow you the option to reclaim your baby within a certain time frame if you change your mind.
In some states, when you drop your baby off at a Safe Haven location, you will be given a bracelet that matches your baby's bracelet. This will enable you to reclaim your baby if you change your mind. Each state has different laws about the time frame for which you can do this. The Safe Haven location may also ask you to fill out a questionnaire, but this is completely optional. They only request this so they have medical history for the baby.
After you have left the Safe Haven your baby will be carefully examined, treated medically if necessary and observed. Once the baby is determined healthy it will be placed in foster care or in a pre-adoptive home. If you do not reclaim your baby within the designated legal time frame your rights will be forfeited and your baby will be placed up for adoption.
There are also many organizations that will help you get confidential medical attention prior to delivering your baby. Giving birth alone is dangerous for both you and your baby. It is important to try and develop a birth plan so you can minimize the risks to both of you. Remember, these organizations understand your desire for anonymity and will never insist you give ID if you are not comfortable doing so.
To find out more about the Safe Haven or Baby Moses law in your state the Internet is an excellent resource. The National Safe Haven Alliance has a website that provides information on each state's laws regarding how to legally surrender an infant. They will also have contact numbers for people that can help you. If you are afraid to go online at home, consider visiting a public library to learn more about safe have laws or call the National Safe Haven Alliance toll-free at 1 (888) 510-BABY.
